Hijack HIjinks
by DSISandraPullman39
Summary: "What do you fuckin mean you don't know how it happened? You're a driver you were bringing a government minister into the department not delivering someone's fuckin take away pizza what do you mean you just left her in the car for ten minutes?...
1. Chapter 1

**Hijack Hijinks**

**Disclaimer:-** Don't own them just borrowing!

**Episode:-** None

**Pairing:- **None really more of an ensemble piece with Nicola/Ollie back notes!

**Rating:- **M

**Achieve:- http(:/) . /group/rebeccafrontlewisffarchive/**

**Summary:- "**What do you fuckin mean you don't know how it happened? You're a driver you were bringing a government minister into the department not delivering someone's fuckin take away pizza what do you mean you just left her in the car for ten minutes?...

**Author's Note:- **I had this idea and put it to my little group of super fan fic girlies and they thought it was worth running with so I hope it turns out as well as I hope it will and you all enjoy it! The rating is for language mainly let's face it it's hard to write a The Thick of It story that could be rated any lower and I'm guessing is you're reading TTOI fan fic you know what you're getting but consider yourself warned anyway there will as always be copious use of the "F" word throughout so if it's not your thing turn back now! Otherwise enjoy and reviews would really be very nice indeed!

" I do apologise Minister normally I stop for Mr Tucker's papers and things before I come for you but he was late calling me with what he needed today I won't be long." Elvis said smiling in the rear view mirror as he pulled up outside the Tesco Metro not far from Nicola's house.

"It's fine honestly but don't take too long he'll still blow a fucking gasket if we're late even if he's the reason." Nicola sighed flicking through the briefing paper she was trying to read for their morning meeting but having extreme difficulty taking in. The morning had been one disaster after another since she'd opened her eyes after only three hours sleep and she didn't think she could face the rest of the day if it started with Malcolm giving her a bollocking for being late. IN the previous week she'd slept a total of about ten hours and she was finding it more and more difficult to keep her eyes open as she waited for the driver to return. Leaning her head back on the seat she said a silent thank you, as she often did, for the tinted windows in the back of the car, the last thing she needed was tomorrow front pages to be a photo of her snoring in the back of her ministerial car with some wise crack headline about her sleeping on the job. Right at that moment all she needed was a ten minute power nap and as she heard the car door open and felt it move a little too quickly away from the curb she hoped Elvis wasn't planning on getting to the DoSAC offices too quickly and spoil that for her.

"I don't fuckin believe this, where the fuck is she? Has she got to the fuckin stage where she can't tell the fuckin time anymore? How hard is it to get into the back of a fuckin car and be driven to a fuckin meeting and get there on fuckin time!" Malcolm shouted pacing back and forward in front of the door of Nicola's office glancing at the clock with each pass as Ollie and Glen looked on.

"You did tell Elvis to stop and get you your papers and orange and all that shit maybe they got stuck in traffic after he did I'll try ringing her again." Ollie sighed reaching for the phone on his desk as Glen shook his head.

"Tried that five minutes ago it's going straight to answer phone." He said trying to sound as convincing as possible as he waited till Malcolm's back was turned before nodding through the window of the office drawing Ollie's attention to Nicola's phone sitting at the corner of her desk and lowering his voice before he spoke again. "She left it here last night remember after his last call she said she was taking the night off whether he wanted her to or not."

"Shit I forgot well she better fucking get her quickly before he notices it or we're all fucking screwed." Ollie replied jumping as Malcolm punched the wall below the clock growling in frustration.

"Mannion's people are going to fucking love this the first joint press conference we've agreed to give and she can't even fuckin be here on time they will make sure that's the only fuckin thing the press focus on and don't give me that bullshit about Elvis having to stop and the supermarket for me he could have printed the fuckin papers and gone to Spain for the fucking oranges in this time this is down to her. Ollie get on to her house number see if that fuckin waste of oxygen she's calls a husband is still there and find out what time she got picked up at I'm going downstairs to see if I can see them or at least head off the fuckin opposition when they hit here and try to stop them knowing she's late. If you get her tell her that if she's not here in 30 seconds I'm going to have her shot and then stuffed and fuckin mounted on my wall as a fuckin example to others!"

"Where the hell is she, she knows this is important!" Ollie whispered angrily in Glens direction as he shrugged picking up the phone and hitting the speed dial for Nicola's home.

"Mr Murray it's Glen at DoSAC I was wondering if the Minister is still at home…. I see yes of course I realise you have more important things to do than be her personal assistant…..No of course not…So she was picked up how long ago?...Thank you." Glen said hanging up the phone and flipping a double V sign at the receiver. "Fuckin wanker I don't know why she stays with him it's a mystery to me why any woman would. After he got past abusing me for suggesting he might actually have noticed what time his wife left the house he said it was over and hour ago at least so even with the stop for Malcolm's shite she should have been here by now."

"He really is the biggest fucking tosser I've ever met and that's saying something considering we're in politics." Ollie agreed about to point out again that it must be traffic or something simple that was holding her up when he heard the lift ping and Malcolm's raised voice filling the room again.

"What do you fuckin mean you don't know how it happened? You're a driver you were bringing a government minister into the department not delivering someone's fuckin take away pizza what do you mean you just left her in the car for ten minutes?...Fuck me have you any idea how fuckin serious this is…..get your fuckin ass back here I'll get security to call the cops and before you leave there prove that you can so something fuckin useful and see if the Tesco has CCTV outside…. I don't fuckin care how you get them to give you it tell them you're with the S A fuckin S if need be but don't come back here without it."

"Malcolm what the fuck? Who was that and what the hell is going on?" Ollie asked as the older man resumed his pacing muttering a selection of expletives his fists bunching at his sides as he started punching numbers into his phone again without answering Ollie's question.

"Yes it's Malcolm Tucker from the PM's office I need to speak to someone in the ministerial protection team urgently….I don't fuckin care who just get me someone who can deal with a potential ministerial abduction and get me them fuckin now…yes I'll fuckin hold but if it's for longer than 10 seconds I'm coming over there and….fuckin shitty hold music."

"Malcolm will you tell us what the fuck has happened?" Glen snapped as he and Ollie closed in on the other man as he put his hand over the microphone on his phone before he spoke. "Elvis the fuckin dickhead left Nicola in the car outside fuckin Tesco while he went in and came out just in fuckin time to see the car speeding off with her still fuckin in it. He doesn't know if someone meant to take her or if they went for the car and didn't realise they had a fucking government minister inside but either way they'll know now and we have the mother and father of all fuckin situations on our hands."

"Wow back up someone's abducted Nicola? From a car outside fuckin Tesco because her driver was getting your fuckin shopping?" Ollie snapped not believing what he was hearing as Malcolm opened his mouth to speak again but was distracted by the obvious arrival of someone he could actually speak to on the other end of the phone.

"This can't be happening." Glen said quietly "No there's some mistake we're in London not fucking down town New York there's some mistake he's forgotten where he left the car or something."

"Yeah right Glen you keep believing that." Ollie snapped the magnitude of what was happening hitting him full on. As Malcolm had already pointed out even if the person who took the car didn't do it because they were looking to kidnap a government minister once they realised she was there they'd immediately know what they had and that meant there was no way of knowing what was going to happen next.


	2. Chapter 2

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

**Hijack hijinks 2/?**

"Where the fuck is he? I told him to check on CCTV and then get his useless backside back here!" Malcolm shouted staring at Ollie and Glen like they should somehow know what was taking Nicola's driver so long to get to the office. "If he doesn't fuckin hurry up I'm going to have to call the fuckin boss then all hell's really going to break fuckin loose. He'll be calling meetings of the fuckin security chiefs and every fuckin thing convinced we're under fuckin terrorist attack and this is all some plot to fuckin bring down the government one incompetent fuckin minister at a time!"

"Not to put myself at risk of having my nose broken…..again." Glen sighed glancing at Ollie for support before continuing. "But with all due respect Malcolm we don't know what the fuck we're dealing with, how do we know what's going on or who's taken Nicola or why don't you think it might be a good idea to let the PM know one of his ministers is fucking missing in action before the press gets hold of the fact a ministerial car has been hijacked with a fucking minister inside?"

"Listen to me you fuckin arsehole do I tell you how to do your fuckin job? Actually don't answer that I fuckin have to because you're so fuckin incompetent so let me do mine. Wait till fuckin Elvis gets his arse back here and we can speak to him properly about what happened then we'll decide if it's time to bring fuckin MI5 in on the party ok? In the meantime don't you fuckin start with me it's not my fuckin fault that Nicola fuckin Murray can't even make the forty five minute journey from her fuckin house to here without causing another fuckin crisis." Malcolm spat his face close to Glen's as Ollie tried to step between them.

"Look we all need to just breathe for a minute Glen you're right we don't know what the hell we're dealing with but that's why Malcolm is right too, if it's just someone out to hijack a fancy looking fucking car they'll either ditch it when they realise she's in it or ditch her because would you want to be in a fucking car with Nicola once she realises it's not Elvis driving? I know I sure as fucking hell wouldn't she's going to go ape shit. All that said she could ring in at any minute to tell us to come pick her up then we'll deal with the shit storm that comes with trying to get to the bottom of who fuckin hijacked the car when she does."

"And if she doesn't Ollie? What then?" Glen asked still not quite believing what he was hearing from the other two men and about to say so when the lift opened and the familiar quiff of Elvis Nicola's driver appeared from inside.

"You better have a very fuckin good explanation and some very fuckin good news if you still want to be fuckin employed in ten minutes time." Malcolm shouted closing in on the driver as he stared at them looking distinctly like a rabbit caught in a particularly bright set of head lights.

"I don't know what happened Mr Tucker, I only stopped for ten minutes to get your papers and your fruit the minister was fine when I left the car I told her I'd be quick and she told me I'd better not make us late for the meeting it was all normal."

"Yeah we fucking got that from your phone call Elvis tell us what happened next. Come on you've already screwed up as much as it's fucking possible to now the thing we're most interested in is finding fucking Nicola before this really becomes a major incident." Ollie snapped starting to feel the assurance that he'd been feeding off that this was all some stupid mistake fade as he thought for a second Elvis might be about to burst into tears.

"I came out just in time to see the car speed off I didn't see who got into it and all I know is that it was moving at a serious speed and the minister had to still be inside."

"Fuck me. I mean fuck me fuckin sideways what were you thinkin you fuckin twat. Minsters are driven around by drivers in fuckin government cars for a fuckin reason so they get from fuckin a to fuckin b without something like this happening." Malcolm continued his voice raising several more octaves as Elvis held out a computer disc and Ollie took it from him.

"Wait." Glen shouted as Ollie moved to his computer and inserted the disc calling up the CCTV footage that was on it and hitting pause. "The upgrade! All government cars were getting upgraded with GPS vehicle tracking devices all we need to do is call the central hub and give them the car reg and they'll tell us were the fucking car is how could we have been so stupid? Malcolm you must have the number of the….."

"Nice fuckin idea Glen but the cars were being done in order of priority forgive us for thinking if anyone was going to get kidnapped by fuckin terrorists it might be someone a little more central to government running than the minster for fuckin DoSAC!" Malcolm snapped as Elvis went to open his mouth again to speak and he pointed at him sneering angrily "Don't you say a fuckin word I know it's been all round the drivers pool that we cherry picked which cars to fuckin do and when and you are in way too much fuckin shite right now to voice that opinion where I can fuckin hear it got it?"

"Look at this, we've got him, well a fucking blurry image of him anyway he doesn't look like the Taliban's top man in London though he looks more like a fuckin bike currier." Ollie called pointing at the screen as Malcolm and Glen crowded round the screen and watched as a man in what looked like black cycling shorts and a close fitting t-shirt waited for Elvis to go inside before scanning the street and getting into Nicola's car.

"Great so when I call Tom I can tell him it's all fuckin ok because it's just a fuckin currier with sore legs who has taken Nicola on a fuckin joy ride to finish his fuckin deliveries. That shite tells us fuckin nothing I'm going to have to make the call." Malcolm sighed turning on Elvis again as he did. "You get into that fuckin conference room and wait ministerial security are going to have a whole fuckin list of questions for you and you better start thinking about some convincing answers. I'm calling it in to the boss."

"Malc, don't you think there's another call we're going to have to make if we're making it official?" Ollie asked not quite believing he was about to say what he was as Malcolm stared at him like he was suddenly speaking a foreign language.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"If we're making it official there's a chance it might get out and if it gets out and we haven't…."

"Fuck no, we are not…." Malcolm began as he caught up with where Ollie was going and started pacing again. "James Fuckin Murray would throw a party at the thought someone might have waltzed off with Nicola and had no intention of sending her back he doesn't need to know about this yet."

"I think he does Malcolm." Glen said quietly as he and Ollie exchanged another look and he knew they were both thinking the same thing. When it came to anything to do with the department James Murray considered Nicola's involvement with politics as a hobby gone wrong and an impediment to whatever fucking shady business practice he wanted to get up to next. This they were both sure would be no different but it didn't change the fact he was Nicola's husband and as such had a right to know if she was in danger even if he wouldn't give a toss. "Look I'm not exactly over the fucking moon about having another conversation with the fuckin man but Ollie's right no matter how tightly we try to sit on this there's always a chance it'll get out and if it does and we've not let her family know then we're up shit creak without a fucking paddle."

"Fine!" Malcolm finally agreed staring at them both clearly thinking of the best way to handle the impending shit storm that was going to accompany James Murray finding out about the morning's events. "Right we have no choice but to tell him but we do have a fuckin choice about how we handle it when we do. Ollie you call him this time, tell him we are sending a car to pick up him and her fuckin brats we'll bury them in one of the state apartments while we find her if he gives you even a fuckin split second of grief tell him from me that if he wants to keep doing fuckin business once this is sorted he'd better just suck up his irritation and cooperate because I can make life very difficult for him and it's only out of respect for the fact she has to put up with him that I fuckin don't. You make that clear to him I'm going to phone the boss tell him to round up his off spring and be at the house ready to go in half an hour I don't fuckin care how he does it."

"Respect? For Nicola?" Glen whispered as Malcolm stormed off and Ollie shrugged reaching for the phone then holding his hand over the receiver as he dialled.

"I think even Malcolm can see she needs the fucking imperial medal for putting up with that bastard and right now I'm not going to question it, the most important thing is that we do what we have to right now because when she does get back between James and Malcolm I think she'll probably wish whoever has her right now had kept her."


	3. Chapter 3

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

**Hijack hijinks 3/?**

"Elvis where the fuck are we this doesn't look like our normal route and we're supposed to be at the DoSAC offices in five minutes for the meeting with fucking Mannion and his…." Nicola snapped sleepily sitting forward in the back seat of the car her words faltering as she realised the person in the driving seat of the car was not her driver but someone completely different.

"Just sit back and shut up and you'll get out of this ok." The mystery man replied his voice low with menace as she immediately felt her hands start to shake and her heart race. What the hell was going one minute she was dozing in the back of the car while Elvis went to get papers and fucking tangerines for Malcolm and now she was god knows where with someone she'd never laid eyes on who clearly wasn't driving her in the direction of her office.

"What the fuck is going on and who the hell are you?" She shouted trying to sound calmer than she was feeling as he glanced around pulling the car into the hard shoulder and turning in the seat to look at her.

"It doesn't fucking matter who I am what matters is that right now you really need to shut the fuck up and sit back or I'm going to have to make you."

"Like hell you are." Nicola replied reaching for the door handle only to find the security lock had been activated and she couldn't open it then rooting around in her handbag remembering too late that she had left her phone in the office the night before then breathing a sigh of relief as she saw the small pink mobile she had confiscated from Ella that morning after reading yet another letter about her behaviour in school. Quickly dialling the office number she was about to bring it to her ear when the man made a grab for it throwing it onto the passenger seat.

"I'm not messing around here if you know what's good for you you'll fucking do what your told until we get where we're going and you're not my fucking problem anymore." He growled pushing her back into the seat and pulling back into traffic with a squeal of protest from the car wheels as he did.

"I've sent a car for James Murray and the kids what did the PM say?" Ollie asked the silence that had fallen between him and Glen being shattered by the return of Malcolm to the main office.

"What the fuck do you fuckin' think he said he's going fuckin' mental heads are going to fuckin roll for this and it'll probably start with Elvis, I still can't fuckin' believe this. The boss is calling ministerial security and they'll be here in…"

"It's Ella Murray's number!" Ollie shouted as the phone on his desk sprang into life and he stared at the number flashing up on the screen accompanied by Nicola's daughter's name.

"Well fucking answer it and put it on speaker." Malcolm replied as they all gathered round Ollie's desk and he hit the hands free button on the phone.

"Hello? Ella are you ok has the car…" He began falling silent again as they all heard an unfamiliar male voice telling someone they could only assume was Nicola that he wasn't messing around and then the sound of tires squealing back into life again.

"What the fuck what is…" Malcolm began before Glen held up a hand to silence him grabbing the note pad and pen off Ollie's desk and writing _He doesn't know we can hear him_ on it in bold letters.

"Do you know who I am, if you think you can just drive off in a government car without someone following you then you're fucking deluded!" Nicola shouted as they all exchanged concerned glances and Ollie knew that they were thinking, Nicola didn't do calm and rational when the shit was hitting the fan and the frantic edge they could hear to her voice now only confirmed that this situation wasn't any different. This time though from the sound of the man they could all now hear telling her that of course he knew who she was and so did the people he was delivering her to the more she panicked the more danger she would be putting herself in. "Yeah well we're not going to get close to whoever or wherever you're taking me to, ministerial cars have GPS tracking any minute now you're going to find yourself looking at a whole fucking wall of…"

"Not this one sweetheart." The man laughed as Ollie and Malcolm exchanged a panicked glance the fact that the hijacker knew that Nicola's car had not yet had the new upgrades opening a whole other can of worms and suggesting that whoever was behind this had inside information about the program and knew she was far down the list of priorities. "They aren't that bothered about your safety but they will be when we're done, they'll be fucking shitting themselves it's time that…."

"What the hell happened get them fuckin back!" Malcolm shouted as the line suddenly went dead and Ollie tried to call the number back and it went straight to voicemail the animated voice of Nicola's youngest daughter filled the room telling them she wasn't able to talk but to leave the name and "num" and she'd call back. "Shit that child is as fuckin useless as her fuckin mother."

"I don't think we can blame Ella for the fact the call ended it's probably a flat battery at least we know Nicola is ok…..for now." Glen replied as Ollie sat back on his desk chair and sighed.

"Yeah and we know something else too." He snapped. "This isn't a case of a fucking carjacking gone wrong or someone not knowing who they were driving off with. This guy went after Nicola and he had someone on the inside to help otherwise how the fuck would he know her car hadn't had the GPS fitted?"

"I don't fuckin know but I intend to fuckin find out." Malcolm shouted turning on his heels and heading toward the conference room where Elvis still sat waiting looking sickly and pale. "You better start fuckin talkin' and you better make it fuckin good who has her and why?"

"Mr Tucker I don't know what you're talking about I….." Elvis began as Malcolm slammed his fist on the table silencing him.

"Whoever drove off in that car today knew it had no GPS and knew that she would be outside that fuckin supermarket at that time this morning now it's in your best fuckin interests to think pretty fuckin seriously before you continue telling me fuckin fairy stories about what you do and don't know or I'm going to fuckin beat it out of you." He continued as Ollie and Glen reached he conference room door and they all stared at the driver as he stared at his hands clearly thinking about how best to answer Malcolm's question and still leave the room with all his limbs intact.


	4. Chapter 4

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

**Hijack hijinks 4/?**

"I swear if you don't start fuckin talkin I'm going to leave you to the mercy of fuckin ministerial security when they get here and trust me you don't want me to fuckin do that. Those guys are counter terrorism fuckin trained and if they think you know fuck all about who has Nicola and what they want they will make sure to get it out of you no matter what it fuckin takes am I gettin' fuckin through here?" Malcolm shouted leaning across the table to where Elvis looked like he might be about to have a heart attack he'd gone such a glowing shade of beetroot.

"Elvis if you know something just fucking tell us, I mean you're already in a fucking shit load of trouble. Did you tell them the car wasn't GPS protected? Did you tell them you'd stop it outside that fucking dive of a supermarket this morning?" Ollie sighed the sense of doom that had been slowly building as the morning went on starting to feel like a crushing weight on his chest as the driver still refused to speak.

"This is getting us fucking nowhere he knows what's going on and he just won't talk. Where the hell are MS Malcolm you called them half an hour ago!" Glen shouted pacing back and forward along the floor to ceiling window of the conference room until Ollie finally grabbed his arm stopping him in his tracks just as Malcolm slammed his fist onto the table and everyone in the room jumped.

"You have exactly 5 fuckin seconds to start talking before I put in the call and get them here with all fuckin lights blaring and arms fuckin drawn!" He shouted "Right now they have this on medium priority because we didn't know what we were dealing with. Now we fuckin do I can have them here dragging you and every other driver in the fuckin ministerial pool to the nearest back end of nowhere hovel to torture it fuckin out of you all."

"OK look it wasn't me, I like the Minster I wouldn't do anything to put her in danger she's the only one of you lot that treats me with any fucking respect." Elvis snapped back glaring from Malcolm to glen then to Ollie and back again.

"Respect? Fuckin respect? Christ fuckin alive I can't believe I'm hearing this, you're a fuckin driver the only qualifications you need are a clean driving licence and a police record that shows you're not a fuckin terrorist of sex fuckin pest. Your job is to drive the fuckin minster your assigned to from place to fuckin place without screwing up and you've proved today you can't even fuckin do that what the hell thinks you've earned any respect?"

"Malcolm shut up for a fucking minute and let him talk will you!" Ollie shouted moving closer to where the driver was sitting and perching on the end of the desk. "We all like Nicola that's why we want her back her safe before something goes wrong and she is in real danger so just tell us what you know ok?"

"There's been some talk around the drivers pool, I don't know exactly who it is that's involved but they aren't happy about the pay cut. I can't say I'm that thrilled about it myself but…"

"So now you're fuckin admitting that you wanted to do something because you got your fuckin wages cut by half a fuckin percentage point well that's it I…"

"Malcolm what part of shut the fuck up are you not listening to?" Ollie snapped ignoring the "what the fuck are you doing" look from Glen. "Let him talk then if he has had something to do with it I'll hold him down myself while you beat the fucking shit out of him ok?"

"Where the fuck did you get a fucking back bone from?" Malcolm replied holding his hands up "Fuckin fine over to you but I mean it my finger is on the fuckin speed dial for the cavalry here."

"Look there was talk that someone had been approached to pass in information about where ministers where going to be and when and to let someone else know what the security arrangements were around different ministers." Elvis continued staring at his hands for a second before beginning again as Malcolm held up his phone his finger hovering over the call button. "Last week when I was off on holiday and Mathews was doing the minister's run he…..look he told me when he came back that I was doing too much that I was weakening their cause in the whole pay debate thing and to stick to the fuckin stupid work to rule shite they've had us on but I told him to go fuck himself that I was here because I wanted to fuckin be here and if wanted to be a wanker like the others then to fucking get on with it but….."

"But what?" Glen shouted finally coming out of the corner he'd retreated to when Ollie and Malcolm had been arguing "Come on Elvis fucking spit it out already Ollie can only keep the king of the fucking hill here from making that call for so long."

"Damn fuckin right I've had e-fuckin-nough of this time to…."

"No Mr Tucker look all I'm saying is that I heard Mathews on the phone yesterday in the drivers room at the HoC he was telling whoever it was that sometimes I stopped at the Tesco by the minister's house to get stuff for you. That's all I know but if I was you I'd talk to him."

"Right I'll have his fuckin balls for a Christmas fuckin decoration, fuckin Mathews I should have had his fuckin ass fired when he was caught using the fuckin ministerial car as a shag fuckin wagon on his off time." Malcolm shouted storming out of the room already on the phone as Ollie and Glen looked at Elvis and Ollie took a deep breath.

"You did good now just pray we fucking find her." He sighed glancing at Glen knowing they were both thinking the same thing. If Nicola was found and this all went away with the minimum about of fuss Elvis might just have a chance of getting away with his job intact not to mention his limbs. If she wasn't though and this Mathews person denied having any knowledge and couldn't be linked to the hijacking Elvis was in as much trouble as his name sake and would be lucky to escape the same fate though in case it wouldn't be at the hands of drink and fried sandwiches it would be at the fate of Malcolm Tucker and that would be a thousand times worse.


	5. Chapter 5

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

**Hijack hijinks 5/?**

"What did they say?" Ollie asked leaving Glen trying to calm down the distraught driver as he came out into the main office again to find Malcolm heading in the direction of Nicola's office.

"They are pulling this Mathews bastard in he's driving the some civil fucking service bag of fuckin useless skin to the O2 for some meeting about the next Elton fuckin John concert or something equally fuckin useless. Can you fuckin believe this? I mean of all the things I ever thought I'd have to deal with where fuckin Nicola was concerned having someone fuckin kidnap her didn't even make the fuckin list!" Malcolm shouted opening and closing drawers in Nicola's desk muttering angrily about the amount of fuckin useless shite women kept in their desks and how it meant you couldn't fuckin find the fuckin thing you were looking for.

"Yeah well maybe we underestimated her popularity thanks to you she's on TV more often than the fucking prime minister these days." Ollie muttered throwing his hands up in frustration Malcolm gave up rooting through drawers and lifted the next one out tipping it onto the desk spilling pens, post-it's, bottles of rescue remedy and assorted other things he didn't even want to start explaining onto the desk. "Malc do you want to tell me want the fuck you're looking for because I don't think Nicola is hiding in her fucking desk!"

"I'm looking for her fuckin calendar for last week so I can see where Mathews took her and if he might have fuckin been using those engagements to help whoever the fuck has her to getting a look at the car and establish she's as ditzy as fuckin hell." Malcolm snapped back as Ollie sighed moving to the other side of the desk scooping the contents of the drawer back into it and slotting it into place before pointing at the black desk planner closed in the centre of the desk.

"Oddly enough the desk planner is on the fucking desk Malcolm I mean fucking hell is it something about walking through that door that means no one in this office can apply some common fucking sense?"

"You watch your fuckin attitude you're supposed to be in charge of making sure she is fuckin where she's supposed to fuckin be and you would have been in the car last fuckin week with this wanker Mathews did you not notice anything was off about him?"

"No I didn't so shoot me for not being fucking psychic, considering for the first two hours of this fucking crisis you thought she was just going to turn up like she might have decided to take the fucking ministerial car for a fucking joy ride herself I don't think you have room to fucking talk about my attitude." Ollie shouted back the nuclear levels of stress that he'd been feeling from the second they and first got the call from Elvis saying the car with Nicola in it was gone reaching fever pitch as he suddenly felt the desire to punch someone and that someone was most likely to be Malcolm.

"Now just hold on a fuckin minute you..."

"Cn you two stop acting like fucking twats and get out here we've got another problem, a big fuck off shit hitting the fan style problem." Glen shouted after standing at the office door for a second before realising that they weren't going to see him they were so caught up in their own argument.

"What could be a fuckin bigger shit hitting the fan situation than this?" Ollie sighed glad for a momentary break from the tension but pretty sure Glen was going to be the next target for Malcolm's rage when he said whatever he was about to.

"James Murray that's what can be bigger he's on the phone he wants an explanation and he wants it in the next ten minutes or he says he's calling the editor of every fucking tabloid rag in the country and telling them that we have him a nod his kids hauled up in the grace and favour apartments and are refusing to tell him where his wife is or what the hell is going on."

"He fuckin what? Is he still on the phone because if he is tell him I coming over to shove his fuckin phone so far up his arse that the only thing he'll be talking to on it is his fuckin colon!" Malcolm shouted storming out to the main office and lifting the phone off Glen's desk as they followed him exchanging worried glances.

"Malcolm try to stay fucking calm we all know he's a fucking bastard and he'll not want the publicity at this stage any more than we will so just tell him nicely to sit fucking tight and someone will explain as soon as we know something." Ollie whispered as Glen took the call off hold.

"Mr Murray? Malcolm Tucker if you so much as think about calling anyone about the current situation I will make your fuckin life so fuckin unbearable that you will fuckin wish you hadn't been fuckin born and I mean you'll be wanted to find your fuckin mother and crawl back up in-fuckin-side because all of your fuckin shady business dealings, fuckin tax dodges and adulterous womanising shite will come crashing down on your smarmy bastard head am I making myself fuckin clear here?"

"Nice to see diplomacy isn't fuckin dead." Glen muttered as Ollie sat as his own desk holding his head in his hands trying to work out if the day could actually get any worse before remembering in the middle of all the yelling and screaming and people flying off the handle and worrying about the press there was still Nicola and she was still missing. Somehow in all the trying to get to the bottom of where she was and who had her they all seemed to have forgotten that their main priority should have been to get her back, actually to get her back safely.

"Someone will be with you to tell you what the fuck is going on when we know what the fuck is going on now have we reached a fuckin understanding here or am I sending to fuckin burly members of security over there to confiscate your phone then give you a fuckin cavity search to make sure you don't have another on?" Malcolm continued before falling silent for a matter of seconds before hanging up and glaring at the phone. "Thank fuckin you for your fuckin cooperation you fuckin fuck bag."

"I think we can all agree he's a fucking fuck bag Malc but is he actually going to cooperate?" Ollie sighed. "Please tell me he is because you do both realise that it's over two fucking hours since that little snippet we heard of Nicola in the car she could be fucking dead by now and we're standing around talking about drivers and fucking wanker husbands."

"Yeah he's going to tow the fuckin line and relax she's not fuckin dead." Malcolm sighed leaning back against the desk as the lift opened and four members of ministerial security looking like something out of a low budget "men in black" remake headed for the conference room.

"How the fuck do you now?" Ollie snapped back in an angry whisper.

"How do I know that Nicola fuckin Murray is still out there alive and kicking?" Malcolm replied as they reached the conference room door in time to hear in time to hear the beginning of an interrogation that made theirs look tame. "Because for the last six months she's made my fuckin live a misery, she's fucked up more often than most minsters do in a whole career and she can't follow a simple instruction without melting fucking down or getting in my fuckin face arguing. Dead? Nah I've never been that fuckin lucky!"


	6. Chapter 6

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

**Hijack hijinks 6/?**

"What the fuck is going on and why are we sitting here in the middle of fucking nowhere?" Nicola snapped staring at the back of the head of the man who had driven her so far into the warren of streets surrounding Whitehall and the City of London that she no longer knew where she was. She'd made it her mission to constantly talk since he took the phone off her not sure how much of what she was saying would get through to the office before Ella's battery, which was never fully charged, died completely. Now she was sure that it would have been and she was feeling more and more deflated by the second not to mention more and more panicked.

"Don't you ever shut the hell up? I swear to god they better pay me danger money because right now I'm in danger of losing my fucking mind listening to your shit. Sit back and shut up there will be someone here soon to take you off my fucking hands and they won't be so nice about your constant moaning." The drive sighed glancing at her in the mirror as she went to reach into her bag for her recue remedy and he reached back snatching it away from her. "No you don't you're not pulling another stunt like you did earlier."

"I need my medication from it and I swear if you don't give me it back by the time this fucking Mr Big you're waiting for gets here all he'll be finding is you in a pool of your own blood." Nicola snapped leaning over the chair and making a grab for her handbag almost grasping it before she felt her abductor's knuckles make contact with her cheek and fell back onto the soft leather of the seat.

"Mr Tucker we have Mathews down stairs and we're bringing him up to one of the unused offices to speak to him before the guys from the MET arrive and cart him off." One of the "men in black" wannabes said quietly coming over the other side of the office were Malcolm, Ollie and Glen were still standing reeling slightly from the exchange with James Murray.

"Which office, let me get my fuckin hands on the bastard and you'll not need the fuckin MET he'll tell you how has her just to get fuckin rid of me." Malcolm shouted heading for the other side of the room as the security officer stood in his way preventing him from going any further.

"Mr Tucker I can understand your frustration but we have to do this by the book. The department, not to mention the PM's office, takes breaches of security extremely seriously. Right now a cabinet minister is missing presumed abducted by persons unknown and we have to assume that this is an attempt to make some point about government policy at best and a potential act of international terrorism at worst. The PM has made it clear that anyone connected with this office is to have no contact with potential persons of interest as this may be count productive not to mention we do not, as yet, know that this Mathews is the only inside contact the kidnappers have so the fewer people know the details of the investigation the better."

"Now hold on just a minute!" Glen said loudly not quite believing he'd managed to get in before Malcolm started ranting about what had just been said but realising the usually mouthy Scot was still in shock. "You're not seriously suggesting that any of us have anything to do with this? We're the ones who have been trying to bloody find her while it's been taking you lot half the day to decide she was worth looking for."

"Yeah this is a fucking joke!" Ollie added "What exactly are you doing about finding her I mean she's been gone for fucking hours and you lot turned up half a fucking hour ago and you're trying to tell us…."

"Shut the fuck up." Malcolm shouted causing the security officer, Glen and Ollie to all stop dead staring at him in shock. "I'll tell you fuckin what James fuckin Bond you go talk to that bastard Mathews while I speak to the fucking PM himself not some lacky in his "office" and remind him that any fuckin minute now the shit is going to hit the fan in a big way because without me and these two fuckin monkeys there is no one to manage the shit storm that will be James fuckin Murray who right now is only holding back on turning this into a media fuckin circus because he's shit fuckin scared of me. You can go all spy movie about this all you fuckin want but for all her fuckin uselessness there isn't one of us standing here that would put Nicola Murray in danger am I making myself fuckin clear here?"

"Yes Mr Tucker just leave it with me for a moment." The security officer said curtly walking away as Ollie and Glen exchanged confused glances.

"Stop standing there like fuckin confused goldfish and get on the phones both of you. I can't reign Tom in if he's serious about believing one of us, or should I say one of you, are the fuckin inside lynch pin in all this so we have as long as it takes for the fuckin sleeve talker to find out that what I just said is a load of shite to come up with something that means they have no choice but to keep us informed rather than stick us in a fuckin empty office somewhere."

"Well we don't fucking know anything Malc what exactly are you expecting us to pull out of the fucking hat in the next ten minutes?" Ollie snapped the idea of being on the outside of the hunt for her making him even more frantic than the fact she was gone in the first place.

"Exactly, I mean we know that it wasn't us but there are a dozen people who work in this office how do we know it wasn't one of them?" Glen added growling with frustration as Malcolm smiled in that way that reminded him of a snake just about to dislocate it's jaw and swallow them whole.

"That's the fuckin point you fuckin dipshits, I don't work in this fuckin office with you load of Yes fucking Minster throw back but you both do." He replied leaning over the desk where Glen and Ollie stood and lowering his voice. "You two know every fuckin person who sits at these fuckin desks think, pull on what few fuckin brain cells you have and think who might want to get Nicola and screw us in the process and do it fuckin quickly or we're out of the fuckin loop and with no one but fuckin Tom and his Kevin Costner clones Nicola really has no fuckin hope."


	7. Chapter 7

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

**Hijack hijinks 7/?**

"Ollie are you just going to sit there like humpty fuckin dumpty waiting to be pushed off the fuckin wall or are you actually going to do something?" Malcolm shouted as Ollie stared around the office mentally ticking off the owners of each desk that his eyes fell on.

"I'm thinking Malcolm I know you're a man of fucking action and all that but sometimes thinking gets you fucking further."

"Christ a-fuckin-live thinking? You did fucking hear me when I said we have about ten fucking minutes? Even Glen is doing something and you're sitting around like Stephen fuckin Hawkins fuckin thinking?"

"Yeah well by taking to minutes to think I've just realised something we've all been fucking missing all morning while we've been so wrapped up in thinking about the fucking drivers to notice we've been looking and what could well be the fucking answer or rather not looking at it."

"Well are you going to share it with us or are we waiting for a fuckin fanfare. Come on Ollie." Glen shouted his patience finally running out as Malcolm shook his head.

"He has nothin to fuckin tell us I mean the three of us have been here all fuckin morning and if he had some fuckin revelation he'd have…."

"The three of us…." Ollie said the darkness to his gaze giving Malcolm pause and Glen a moment of thought before he spoke.

"Oh god how can we have not noticed?" Glen snapped immediately going to his desk and picking up the phone as Malcolm looked between the two of them before growling in frustration.

"Is anyone going to fuckin tell me what's going on or are we going to waste time talking in fuckin riddles until they bring Nicola back in a fuckin body bag?" He shouted as Glen put the phone down and shook his head at Ollie.

"No answer it's going straight to answer phone and so is the land line."

"It has to be, I mean no one else gives a fuck I mean they all have a moan and give Nicola a fucking hard time behind her back but no one else in this office other than the three of us has so much access and we've established none of us are fucking involved." Ollie replied jumping as Glen sank into the chair behind his desk and Malcolm lifted a stapler off it throwing it at the wall behind Ollie's head.

"You two better fuckin tell me what the fuck you're talking about and do it fuckin quickly before I fuckin strangle you both. Who isn't answering their fuckin phone? Who had as much fuckin access as we do?" He shouted his frustration peaking as the other men still seemed reluctant to speak.

"We've been here since 7am." Ollie began aware that he was playing a dangerous and time consuming game but wanting Malcolm to get there himself just like they had so he'd realise it was the only explanation rather than immediately dismissing it as ridiculous.

"You so fuckin what?"

"Well the regular office staff don't come in until nine and they were all sent home when they did get in with the stupid fucking heat problems excuse but normally we're not the only ones here before the day starts especially on days when there's something as important as oday's meeting. Normally…."

"Fuckin hell now I see what you're fuckin saying. Fuck me sideways where the fuck is she? I swear I'll pull her fuckin heart out through her fuckin throat." Malcolm shouted the realisation hitting him like a steam train just the way it had them. The only people who were routinely at the office at the crack of dawn were the three of them, Nicola and Terri and now that it had been pointed out to him he could see exactly what they had. Her absence on that morning without so much as a phone call screamed guilt.

"Even if she was late and was told to go it's fucking Terri she'd have demanded to be let up to the office or at least called and bollocked us because she couldn't get up so she was out of the look when something fucking massive was clearly going on." Ollie continued as he got up and moved across the room to the desk Terri called him when she was in the office as the other's followed.

"Damn fucking right she would." Malcolm agreed watching as Ollie pulled open drawer in the desk finally coming to one at the bottom that was firmly locked. "I don't care how you do it but get that fuckin drawer open and pray there's something in it that tells us where Nicola is. I'm going to talk to Johnny fuckin English and his mates and tell them what we've found.

"Ollie you realise what we're saying here?" Glen said quietly as he handed the younger man a large pair of scissors and which he opened and began using to try to pry the drawer open. "Wait that's never going to fucking work we need a screw driver and a hammer of something I'll look in the maintenance cupboard."

Staring after Glen as he disappeared to the other side of the office and into the caretakers cupboard Ollie sat back in Terri's office chair and looked at the desk in front of him. He knew where Glen was coming from when he asked if he knew what they were saying but he couldn't think of anyone else who could have the access necessary to give any abductor the information they would need and everything about Terri's absence from the office that morning was telling him she had to be involved.

"Here try this." Glen gasped rushing back from the closet and handing him a flat head screwdriver and a hammer which combined opened the drawer with one violent hit.

"Shit." Ollie muttered as he pulled the drawer open and saw a clear plastic folder and a computer memory stick inside. The top sheet of paper on the folder clearly had a list of Nicola's recent engagements and as he lifted it out and flicked through the other papers his heart sank.

"Well? Fuck sake Ollie what is it?" Glen shouted as he was handed the file and Ollie switched on the computer and inserted the memory stick. "This is everything anyone could want to know about Nicola, even her kids names, their mobile numbers and the address of their schools are on here it's the whole fucking nine yards."

"Yes it gets worse though." Ollie replied glancing at Glen his heart pounding in his chest. "Get Malcolm and do it fucking discretely he needs to see this before anyone else does."

"Why what is it?" Glen asked groaning with irritation as Ollie batted him away.

"You can see in a minute just do what I fucking said and get fucking Malcolm." He snapped staring at the screen as Glen finally walked away again. This should be a breakthrough it should help yet he couldn't get rid of the feeling that what he was looking at now made it even more unlikely that they would find Nicola before something happened. International terrorism or making political points or whatever they could deal with but now he knew this was personal and that was a whole different ball game.


	8. Chapter 8

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

**Hijack hijinks 8/?**

"Ollie what the fuck is this about? You realise those wankers are watching out every more and you sending Glen over to do his fucking secret squirrel act isn't going to fucking help!" Malcolm whispered angrily as he approached Teri's desk.

"just shut up for a second and sit here look at the stuff on the computer and that file on the desk we don't want to draw attention to that." Ollie snapped back getting up and nudging Glen away so they didn't all appear to be crowded around the desk. He knew when Malcolm finished looking at what he had seen he was going to go ape shit. He would find it very hard not to blow his top and let the entire building know exactly what they had found.

"What the hell was on that memory stick Ollie? Malcolm looks like he's about to burst a fucking blood vessel are you going to tell me? I mean I know the paper work shows she was their inside contact but we'd worked that out for…"

"She's not anyone's inside contact she's fucking behind the whole thing." Ollie sighed the anger in his chest almost crushing as he nodded toward the corner of the room out of sight of the security people.

"Teri? No way." Glen said sceptically shaking his head as Ollie stared back at him. "You're serious! Why? What reason could Teri have to abduct Nicola? You're out of your fucking mind I mean if someone paid her enough then I can see her telling them what they wanted to know but actually being the brains behind it? Nah she has no…."

"She has, that's what's on the memory stick she's been involved with James." Ollie replied keeping his voice low and sighing in frustration as Glen still looked completely confused.

"I don't know what you're talking about Ollie. James who? I….."

"Fuck sake Glen stop being such a fucking twat James Murray. The memory stick is full of emails between them and photos some of which I could have lived my whole fucking life without seeing." Ollie explained as he saw Malcolm practically rip the memory stick from the computer before heading their way.

"Right Lucy and fucking Ethel we need to get the hell out of here and speak to James Murray and we need to do it now. I'm going to go tell them that he's kicking off and we need to rein him in in or he's going to blow the lid off this. I have the memory stick you two discretely make a copy of the in the file then put it in your fucking jockey shorts if you have to so we can get it out of here with us. Put the original back in the desk for them for find. As a parting shot I'll throw in Teri's name as the possible inside man and that should keep them off our backs for a while. When they find the file they'll believe she is and spend time looking for her but only we will know the real fucking twisted reason behind it." Malcolm explained glaring at the two of them for a moment before growling in frustration. "Go on then get on with it. Meet me at the lift in ten minutes and don't fuck up!"

"Fuck sake Malcolm why do we have to go in Glen's car it's full of fucking empty crisp packets and shit." Ollie sighed as the three men made it to the building's car park.

"Just get in the car before one of those fuckin Krypton Factor rejects up there puts his brain in gear and realises it doesn't take 3 of us to speak to the walking ball sack that is James Murray," Malcolm snapped as Ollie folded himself and his long legs into the back of Glen's Nissan Micra.

"I still can't believe this." Glen said as he pulled out into an already busy traffic back up and realised it was going to take them at least an hour to travel the five miles to the grace and favour apartments.

"What's hard to believe? James Murray was fucking Teri. He's already proved he'll stick his dick in anything with a fanny and a pulse it was too much to expect that he'd leave alone the people who worked with his fucking wife." Malcolm said angrily craning his neck to see how far ahead the traffic jam went before growling again.

"But if Teri was pissed off with him why didn't she just tell Nicola? I mean why go to these fucking lengths? What have you two not told me about what's on that memory stick? What's in the emails?"

"Why would she tell Nicola? Fuck sake Glen how many times have we all sat around saying that Nicola puts up with too much shite from that waste of space? Telling her wouldn't have achieved what she wanted." Ollie replied glancing at Malcolm who was staring at him in the rear view mirror. He knew that until Glen heard the reason why they were so sure that Teri had masterminded Nicola's abduction he would be impossible to convince that it was true but when he did know he was going to be even more surprised and he didn't feel like delivering that news.

"I'm starting to get fucking pissed off with being the only one in the fucking dark here so one of you tell me what was on that memory stick or I'm pulling over and not moving another inch until you do." Glen snapped making a point of slamming on the breaks a little too hard as the traffic slowed again to prove his point.

"Ok don't get your fuckin pantie girdle in a fuckin bunch Glen. God if she was going to fuckin abduct someone why the fuck couldn't it have been you?"

"Don't you fucking think I wish it was me? If it's Teri surely that's good? Surely we'd rather this was her trying to make some menopausal fucking woman point to the married man she's been shagging than a bunch of international terrorists."

"Yeah well it's not that simple." Malcolm sighed "The memory stick is full of emails and copies of letters that Teri sent to the fuck wit. From what I can work out he and Teri shagged a couple of times after the department Christmas party his emails show that he didn't give a fucking shite about her any more than he does about any other woman he cheats on Nicola with but she seems to have thought she was something fuckin special. There are a handful of messages where she's ranting on about being in love with him and replies that are a load of shite about how he can't leave Nicola and how he would if he could then he stops replying completely or she stops saving his replies. She keeps telling him how she's fuckin saintly and could look after him properly and how Nicola is a bitch and doesn't know how lucky she is and so on and so fuckin forth."

"Well if he stopped replying maybe she got over it or at least did enough to help someone do whatever they're doing. It doesn't mean she's behind it," Glen interrupted as they finally pulled into the court yard of the grace and favour apartments within walking distance of Downing Street and he killed the engine turning in his seat for the first time since they'd set off and glancing from one of them to the other. "That isn't all it says on there is it?"

"No." Ollie said quietly picking up where Malcolm had left off pulling his lap top from the bag beside him and starting it up while Malcolm handed him the memory stick. "Look at the messages at the end; the ones dated the end of last month. You'll see she'd gone completely off the fucking rails by then."

"Yeah she wasn't even in cloud fuckin cuckoo land by that stage she's past that into psychoville." Malcolm agreed as they waited for Glen to catch up, reading silently his gaze darkening as he did.

"How can she have been like this and it not have been noticeable? I mean by the end she's telling him that if it wasn't for Nicola they could be together and she'll fucking sort it out! Why the hell didn't he make someone aware of this what was he fucking thinking?" Glen asked as he reached the last email Teri had sent which as good as detailed what she planned to do and what she thought it would achieve and he couldn't believe they'd worked alongside her and not realised and more importantly that James Murray knew this was a possibility and hadn't warned anyone.

"Yeah well that's what we're here to fuckin find out even if I have to get his fuckin balls in a vice to get the truth out of him. Right now I don't care what he's been up to between the fuckin sheets I want to find Nicola and find her before some Glenn Close wannabe civil fuckin servant does something we all should have protected Nicola from." Malcolm replied getting out of the car and slamming the door before stalking in the direction of the entrance.


	9. Chapter 9

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

**Hijack hijinks 9/?**

"How are we going to play this?" Ollie asked as they stood outside the lift on the ground floor of the grace and favour apartments waiting for it to open.

"What do you mean how are we going to fuckin play it we're going to march in there and get the bastard by the fuckin throat and shake him until he tells us how much he fuckin knows about this." Malcolm shouted the way the bright red of his cheeks hadn't lessened any in the previous hour making Ollie seriously wonder about the how high his blood pressure might be.

"What do you mean how much he knew about it? You don't think he's involved do you?" Glen asked as they stepped inside and the glass doors closed again.

"I don't think we should fuckin rule out the possibility that he might be I mean if you were him and fucked off with Nicola but not able to do anything about it don't you think if you got in with a genuine psycho who seemed on the brink of doing something fuckin crazy would you be inclined to tell her to get a fuckin grip and then come tell us what was going on or would you sit back and let her do whatever the hell she liked and maybe even help along the way if it meant getting shot of Nicola and being able to hold your hands up and say I have nothing to fuckin do with it afterward?" Malcolm continued looking from one of them to the other as he saw the seed of the idea plant itself.

"Yeah alright I wouldn't put it past him but if we go in accusing him of being involved he'll tell is to fuck off I say we go in sticking to the "why the fuck didn't you tell us" line and see how he reacts to that first." Ollie agreed as the lift opened and they stood for a second in front of the apartment door waiting for the security officer inside to open it. "Say nothing in front of the kids we'll get him into another room first."

"Those fuckin kids should know what a wanker their father is but ok just get him moved fast because if he won't go to another room I don't fuckin care who hears what finding Nicola is the important thing not sparing anyone's fuckin feelings this isn't an episode of fuckin fix my family." Malcolm snapped as Ollie tried hard to rub the tension from his neck. He knew Nicola wouldn't want her kids wrapped up in all of this and that one of the main things she'd be worried about throughout whatever was happening to her was what they'd think and if they'd be ok and he really didn't want her to get back to a shit storm of traumatised kids.

"Mr Tucker I wasn't expecting you come in." The smartly dressed young male security officer said standing aside when he opened the door and letting them inside as they saw James Murray pacing back and forward in front of the window while a female officer tried to occupy the Murray children.

"Excuse me." Ollie smiled breathing a sigh of relief as he realised there was a way to protect the kids without having to get into an argument with what two mouthy irritated men who would be ready to kill each other before long he was sure. "Samantha isn't it?"

"Yes sir I'm just trying to find something for the kids to do they're going a bit stir crazy in here." The young woman replied smiling weakly at him.

"Why don't you take them down to the ground floor to the restaurant and get them some lunch I'm sure they're starving just order them whatever they want and tell Noreen the restaurant manager it's to be charged to the DoSAC account." He continued waiting a second as a tense silence fell on the room while the kids were herded out and Malcolm and James stared at each other like old school cowboys at sundown wondering which of them could get to their gun first.

"You take a hike for an hour go down and get something to eat too or whatever the fuck you want we need to talk to Mr Murray alone." Malcolm snapped directing his comment at the other security officer who glanced at Ollie and Glen without moving. "Don't fuckin look at dumb and dumber I'm tell you to get fuckin lost so get fuckin lost!"

"What the hell is this all about?" James Murray snapped talking for the first time since they'd arrived once the security officer had left and they were finally alone. "Someone better tell me what the fuck is going on with my wife and where the hell she is before I start having to make some calls of my own to see if I can get someone with some competence to tell me what's going on."

"You…" Malcolm shouted snatching the phone from James's hand and throwing it against the wall as Glen grimaced when the loud smashing sound was followed by glass and iPhone parts hitting the ground. "Are not phoning anyone you are going to fuckin sit the hell down and listen and then you are going to tell us exactly when it became ok to put your fuckin wife in danger because you can't keep your fuckin prick in you boxers I mean look at you you're not exactly casa-fuckin-nova half the tarts that let you shag them only do it because they know you're her fuckin husband so sit the fuck down now."

"Fuck off! Who the hell do you think you are talking to me like that?" James snapped back moving so he was toe to toe with Malcolm as Ollie tried to step between them and failed. "You bring me here tell me fucking nothing and now come in here acting like you're the fucking enforcer or something it's my wife who is missing maybe it's time you lot remembered that while you're all fucking closing ranks around her and this fucking situation."

"You lost the right to know anything the night you fucked Teri Coverly and set her on a fuckin mission to get rid of what you have fuckin told her is the reason you can't be together." Malcolm shouted as the others watched a second of realisation cross James's face and the colour drained from it. "Now sit the fuck down and you better answer my fuckin questions quickly and without a load of fuckin bullshit, I don't care about how fuckin misunderstood you are or that Nicola works too fuckin much or won't let you fuck her in line with your fuckin fantasies or whatever this isn't the fuckin Jeremy Kyle show got it?"

"OK." James said the shock clearly having knocked at least some of the fight out of him as he sank into the sofa and for a second an uneasy silence fell around the room and for the first time Ollie started to believe that in spite of his obvious disregard for his wife the reason James Murray hadn't told them about Teri was that he genuinely didn't believe she'd follow through on her threats and that meant they were likely to be in even more trouble because if he didn't know then he wasn't likely to have any idea where they were and they'd be back to square one and no closer to rescuing Nicola.


	10. Chapter 10

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

**Hijack hijinks 10/?**

"What has she done? Is Nicola OK?" James asked refusing to look at Malcolm and instead turning his attention to and directing his question at Ollie.

"We don't know the answer to either of those questions yet but we need to know more about what happened between you and Teri." Ollie explained opening his laptop and inserting the memory stick into it as it started up. "We only have one side of the story here between what we have on the memory stick and….."

"And these fuckin letters from the weirdest Mills and fuckin Boons novel in history." Malcolm interrupted resuming his angry pacing after a "cool it for one fucking minute" glare from Ollie.

"She kept all this shit?" James asked staring at the pile of printed sheets of paper Malcolm had just slapped down on the coffee table beside Ollie's laptop. "Damn I knew she was a bit of a fucking whack job but I never thought she'd follow through. What happened to Nicola you still haven't told me. How can you not fucking know? The car picked her up this morning I saw her fucking leave once she gets in that car isn't she supposed to be safe? What happened to ministerial fucking security? How do you even know Teri has anything to do with this? It could be anyone you just want it to be her then it's my fucking fault and …."

"You really are a piece of fuckin work aren't you?" Malcolm interrupted snarling at the man now clearly scrabbling for a way to absolve himself of any blame for the situation they were in. "We know it's her okay pal and I'm tellin you now you better stop acting like the useless fuckin ball sack that you are and start talkin. Ministerial security doesn't know what we do you yet and if we don't find her before they work it out you have no fuckin idea how bad they can get. If you think I'm giving you a hard fuckin time right now when they get started you'll wish you could swap places with a fuckin death row inmate on his way to the electric chair just to get out from under them."

"Tell me what happened after she left the house…..please." James said quietly the last word clearly sticking in his throat as Malcolm nodded at Ollie before disappearing to the other side of the room where a selection of alcoholic drinks sat on the table and pouring himself a large Scotch.

"Her driver stopped to run an errand and while he was someone hijacked the car and her, CCTV from outside the Tesco metro by your home shows a man get into the car and drive off. Other than that the only contact we've had since she left this morning is a short call from your daughter's mobile number in which we can hear her talking to her abductor before the battery died. The car hasn't been fitted with a tracking system yet so we can't trace it and we're as sure as we can be that Teri is behind it for a number of reasons." Ollie explained taking a breath as Glen took up the baton.

"If it was an act of terrorism they would be unlikely to start with Nicola. We're not exactly top of any terrorist hit list at DoSAC." Glen sighed "Add to that the fact that Teri had dropped off the face off the earth and we found all this stuff you don't exactly have to be Inspector Morse to work it out."

"So now that we've finished playing pander to the wanker start talking Murray, start with how this all fucking started and ending with how much you fucking knew making sure to stop off at why the fuck you kept this shite to yourself along the way." Malcolm shouted from his position in the corner of the room his patience finally running out as the other three men stared at him and James Murray finally relented.

"Look it was a one off, well a few times max, and that was only because she wouldn't fucking leave me alone. She was there the night of the Christmas party and she was throwing herself at me. You lot has spirited Nicola off somewhere as fucking usual before I even arrived."

"You were three fucking hours late as I recall." Glen spat his anger rising as Ollie looked at his and shook his head firmly. They needed Murray to keep talking and antagonising him wasn't going to help even Malcolm was quietly seething rather than actually speaking.

"So you fucked her at the party I don't even need to know the details of that." He sighed praying that Malcolm wouldn't decide to make life more difficult by insisting on more details to make James squirm and as such prolonging all their agony. "It's fucking April James exactly how long did it go on for and when did she start with the psycho stalker shit."

"We met up a couple of times after Christmas but only because like I said she wouldn't fucking leave me alone. I told her that it could never be more than a bit of fun but she started calling my mobile the office and even phoned the house when she knew Nicola was away or at your office. She was a fucking nightmare."

"So you decided the best way to get fuckin rid of her was to paint Nicola as the bitch who was preventing you walking off into the fuckin sunset together?" Malcolm snapped his mind starting to whirl with all the possibilities that the new information had thrown up. If this had been constant for four months then there was a hell of a lot of time for Teri to put things in place to do something to Nicola and that was a possibility he didn't want to think about. "So when was your last contact with her? These emails and the other shite end a couple of weeks ago."

"I heard from her every other fucking day until about a week ago. I thought she'd finally got the message and pissed off."

"But?" Ollie asked knowing there was more to the rest of the story. He could see it in James Murray's and suddenly the way he'd reacted when he'd first been moved with his kids that morning fell into place. He didn't care enough about Nicola to care where she was normally and any other time he'd have assumed they'd been hidden away from some media shit storm that was about to kick off. That morning though he had immediately assumed that something had happened to her and it was only now that the strangeness of that was starting to hit home. "You knew something had happened! Think about it when has he ever fucking cared where Nicola is? Normally if he'd been brought here his first question would have been what has she done now not where is she! "Talk and do it fucking quickly before I throw you to the wolves and let MI fucking 5 or whoever the hell they like beat or out of you."

"She left me a voice mail last night, I didn't get it until this morning after the car had picked Nicola up. She said she'd found a way to sort it and that she'd be in touch when she'd dealt with Nicola then her, me and the kids could start a new life. She was like a woman fucking possessed going on about how she had money and I could set up a new business away from here. It was a fucking rant. I assumed she was drunk and fucking raving it wouldn't be the first time. I thought everything would be fine I didn't think shed actually fucking do anything."

"My god." Ollie muttered feeling his blood run cold as even Malcolm seemed to have run out of expletives and stared at James in shock. When they'd left the office almost an hour before he'd already believed that they were up shit creek without a paddle but they'd lost the fucking boat now too and if James couldn't come up with something that night tell them where Nicola was they would all end up drowning starting with her.


	11. Chapter 11

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

**Hijack hijinks 11/?**

"What took you so fucking long? She's a fucking nightmare that one and you said it would be a thirty minute car ride and you'd be here waiting for me this isn't enough anymore." Nicola heard the now familiar voice of her abductor shouting as she tried to clear her head. When he'd lashed out the force of the blow to her cheek had sent her head ricocheting off the window and she couldn't remember anything after that until seconds before when the throbbing pain in her head and the fact the car was still stationary had brought her to her senses.

"I would have been here had you let me know it had all gone to plan the second you were in the car like you were supposed to." A female voice, that she instantly recognised, replied the confusion being added to the haze in her mind making her stomach lurch as she tried to put together the facts that were all now running around in her head demanding attention. "As for more money forget it, this is what we agreed and unless you want ministerial security to get a convenient anonymous phone call telling them where they might find the man who hijacked a government vehicle this morning I suggest you take it and fuck off!"

"You wouldn't dare, the second they come knocking on my door I spill the whole fucking plan Teri, I didn't sign up for whatever you have planned here when you asked me to do this you were going to put the frighteners on her then I was going to drive away again and leave her by the side of the road so she would eventually get back. No one ever told me that you were going to….."

"What I'm going to do next is nothing to do with you, now either take your money and get the fuck out of here or I'll make a call and now that I think about it I'll not bother with anyone official I'll just give your boss a call and let him deal with you." Teri spat back as Nicola finally straightened up groaning quietly as the action of lifting her head made the pain slowly pulsate even more. Finally opening her eyes she realised the sharp pain from her wrists that had been trying to make its presence known, but was drowned out by the worse pain in her head, was being caused by a thick black cable tie now holding her hands firmly together meaning the seatbelt was pinning her in place and she had no way of freeing herself.

"Fine but if this comes back to bite me in the ass don't think I'll be leaving your name out of it, I have no fucking loyalty to you I think you're a fucking looper and if something happens to her and there's anyway to trace any of this back to me I'll sing like a fucking canary."

"I don't think so."

"Well start thinking it lady because…." The shot that rang out echoing off the metal inside the car made Nicola jump in her seat as she bit down on her lip to try to stop herself from screaming before glancing through the tinted glass of the window for the first time feeling bile rise in her throat as she saw Teri standing over the body of the man who had been driving her car since it was snatched from outside the supermarket that morning. She watched in horror as the woman she thought she knew kicked the lifeless body onto it's back before reaching into the pocket of the man's jacket and pulling out an envelope she could only surmise was the money they had been talking about moments before. Nothing was making any sense, through everything that happened that morning she'd convinced herself that the whole thing was a joke or some pro-immigration or anti-immigration group trying to make a point, she'd even wondered if it was a lone mad man who had been refused a visa and saw her as the public face of the countries immigration policy. Now though she was bound and terrified in the back of the car with no one else around but someone she thought she could trust and she had no idea what was going on. Teri had just shot someone in cold blood, someone she'd clearly been planning on paying for the job of stealing the car with her in it and bringing her to wherever they were. What she could possibly want with her, what had turned her from a slightly morose but apparently sane person into a killer was a mystery and what she planned to do now they were alone was an even bigger one.

"I thought you told me you were getting your best guy on this…..yeah well he was a fucking lose cannon…..yeah was….I don't care what you fucking think about it just get someone over here to clear up the mess I'm leaving now in the government car with her and I don't expect you to fuck up any more of this, remember it's only thanks to me that you aren't sitting in some fucking detention centre with you precious fucking family and your group of gangsters waiting to be sent back to the arse hole of nowhere where you belong….Fine just sort it and I'll see you in the morning as arranged think of getting rid of his body as practice because when I'm done with her I don't want anyone to find her understood?" Listening as Teri spoke angrily down the phone then hung up giving the lifeless corpse a final kick as she headed for the car Nicola felt her panic level rise. She had no idea what she'd done to warrant such fury and hatred from Teri, she had no idea what was going to happen or where she was going to end up when this was over but as she heard the front door of the car open she had a feeling she was about to find out.

"So let me get this fuckin straight pal. You already knew she was a whack job, you knew she hated Nicola because you had told her she was the only thing standing between the two of you and a life of wine and fucking roses and yet when you got that message this morning you didn't think for a second to call us and finally spill the fucking beans? You just sat around waiting for us to call you?" Malcolm shouted as the gravity of what James had said finally hit home. Up until that point he'd almost been willing to believe that the hideous excuse for a man in front of him was just being a coward, that he didn't believe that there was any real danger from Teri and he was just too chicken to admit what he'd done so kept her stalking under wraps. Now though with this final revelation he wasn't so sure that even if he wasn't directly involved the reason James Murray had said nothing because he was hoping that Teri would do something, harm Nicola in some way hence freeing him to carry on with his promiscuous lifestyle without the added hassle of a high profile wife to complicate things. "Do you still have the fuckin message? At least tell us that you didn't fuckin delete it."

"I still have it." James replied pulling his phone from his pocket and pressing a few keys before setting it on the coffee table as the speakerphone chirped into life and they could hear it telling them they had one saved message.

"James, sweetheart, I've done it. I've found a way, by tonight Nicola won't be standing in our way anymore. I'll make sure that bitch knows what she's put you through over the years and once she's gone we can finally be together just us and the kids. I know they'll miss her at first but we'll start a new life far away from here and we'll convince them its better this way, they'll come round and we can all be happy. I know it'll be a big change but we can relocate I have enough money to keep us going until you can set up again and without her you'll do even better. They've no idea what's going on I've sorted everything right under their noses and when she disappears they'll be so busy chasing their tails and hunting international terrorist they'll never look for me. I'll call you in a few days, I told you I would make sure we could be together didn't I? Don't worry my darling you'll be free of her soon just remember that."

"Holy shit." Ollie muttered as the loud beeping noise from the phone told them that the message had ended and he, Glen and Malcolm stared at each other for a minute. "I'll make her understand what she's put you through? What the fuck have you been saying to her? She didn't come up with this idea that Nicola is somehow the root of all evil just because you told her you couldn't leave her. What the hell has been going on James and this time you better tell us everything."

"Damn fucking right you better." Malcolm agreed his hands trembling with fury as he started pacing back and forward in front of the coffee table again. Just when he thought it couldn't get any worse something else seemed to jump up and slap them between the eyes and he was starting to get fucking sick of being flannelled by the wanker in front of him. Now it was time to hear the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and if he thought Murray was holding out on them one more time he would take great pleasure in beating it out of him. He'd make sure by the time he was finished with James he was in a worse state than he now feared Nicola already was and by the looks of unadulterated hatred and anger her could see on Ollie and Glen's faces he didn't think he'd be doing it alone.


End file.
